Don't you wish your girlfriend was dumb like me?

photo source: flickr.com

Have you ever gone through a dumb spell? I guess technically I'm not dumb: I have my nursing degree (some would say I'm dumb not to use it anymore) and was the official Queen Bee if my elementary school spelling bees (that's sayin' something).

But I can be dim at times.

Growing up, I was always pretty happy-go-lucky: in my own little world, you might say. My sister would always say I was academically smart, but a bit flighty in most other situations. Always clumsy, I could break anything that wasn't tied down, trip over invisible obstacles, and never clued in to what was going on. Always gullible, it wasn't difficult to pull the wool over my eyes.

A bit sharper as an adult, I seem to be suffering a bit of a relapse this week. Although I chalk it up to too much on my mind, I have done some dumb things this week. Always wanting to share in the lessons learned from my mistakes, I offer up the following advice:

Don't mow grass while wearing flip-flops. While you might be thinking I amputated a toe or something, that would at least elicit sympathy. No, I have been simply left with grass-green feet, which despite soaking them everyday, still remain...one week later!! Not very pretty!! I would not be good with those foot fetish fellas...


Don't be so cheap that you attempt your own pedicures. Now I'll be honest; I have never had a pedicure (or manicure). Like I said, I am cheap in many ways, so it was with real excitement that I saw an at-home pedicure kit (on sale, no less). Well, several "treatments" later, with what looked like a cheese grater (no, I didn't clue in at that point), in the hopes of restoring baby soft skin on my heels, and I am in pain. Like, cannot weight-bear on either foot pain. I hobble around like a senior citizen with a broken hip, yelping in pain with each step. Sure, I have pink soft heels, but only because I grated off the first two layers of skin.

But guess what? The soles of my feet are still green!!!

Don't fuel your car when you are half asleep. Because I stay up too late and have allergies, some mornings I wake up needing toothpicks to hold open my eyelids. The other day was one of those times. I took the boys to school and realized that I was literally driving on fumes (I always forget to check the gauge). I fueled up, hopped back into my car, and was thisclose to driving away. Oh, and a police car was parked in the lot of gas station. I screeched to a halt, hopped out and paid, trying to look all cool, like I meant to do it. Which, considering the proximity of the policeman, was probably really dumb...!

**At least I wasn't wearing my p.j.'s. Because I have been known to drive my boys to school that way - which you just know is a disaster waiting to happen!!

Anyway, throw in a few forgotten /mixed up appointments for myself and the kids and you have the makings of my week. Like the saying goes, "Stupid is as stupid does"

Great quote, but I have always been clueless as to what that means!!

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