In keeping with my Christmas planning series, I thought I'd give you some advice about what not to do when planning your family's Christmas. I was flipping through some of my holiday magazines, the new Martha Stewart Living in particular, and I laughed out loud at some of the inane "tips" and recommendations they doled out that we are to put on our Christmas to-do list!! I know some might think they are perfectly acceptable and easy tasks, but for the rest of us mere mortals: there are just some things I'll never do, and these are but a few...
- make my own advent calendar, or better yet, give my three kids each a small gift for each day of December...like I could afford that!!!!! Or maybe I'm supposed to make each little gift...?? Either way, I can get a "chocolate calendar", as my kids like to call them for a dollar a piece!! There! Done!!!
- Have a tree-trimming party. Sure I like the idea of everyone bringing me an ornament, but really, would you actually want someone else decorating your tree?? {{{{shudder}}}} No thanks!! It's bad enough we mothers have to redistribute all the ornaments from the bottom tree branches as it is! It's not strange for my kids to hang three ornaments on one bough...only to have them crash and break! I'm all for them helping decorate, but after they go to bed....(and if you say you don't do that, well...the fellow in the red hat can see everything, and it's not the time to lie!!!)
- force amaryllis bulbs...are you kidding me?? Who in their right mind has the time to do such a thing, or the forethought?? I don't even particularily like amarylississs(?!) And really, don't they have them at the florists, or grocery stores for that matter??
- make my own wrapping paper....using cut-out potatoes...as stamps...?? Enough said...that's just crazy!!!
- make two dozen ice lanterns to light my front path for guests. Sounds great in theory, but there's a bit of a logistics problem there. Who has either enough ice cream containers or a big enough freezer??
- Make my own soaps to put in everyone's stockings. This sounds like a lovely idea, but doesn't that include lye and melting beeswax and the lot? Same goes for making my own candles...
Stud dozens of oranges to place around the house. Okay, okay...I've actually done that once before (not dozens, but a few), but oranges are so expensive this time of year, and I'd rather eat them!! Besides, that's what scented sachets are for.
- make delicate cookies iced in extravagant detail using homemade Royal icing. I've even tried this...so I'm speaking from experience. It's a lot harder than it looks...
- same goes for tart shells...I can get 24 perfect little shells for $4 at the grocery store's frozen section. I figure it's what's inside that counts!!
- make my own paper s
nowflake garland. I never did master that as a child...and again, the dollar store or if you want a fancier version, I'm sure Martha will have one at Michael's. - make my own Christmas crackers. Life's too short to do that! Especially since you can't make ones as cute as the ones based on the classic Rudoph movie!
- Starch my napkins, tablecloths, or anything!
- Make a gingerbread house from scratch. I can barely get the walls stuck together with the icing. I figure I'm doing well to even let the kids each do one of those kits.
So that's my list. I'll do what I can, and what I enjoy, but some of the suggestions given to me by the "experts" just make me snort with laughter. What makes you roll your eyes, and what have you done, but vowed never to do again, in the name of the holiday??
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